Guardian of the Cards

Every time there is a big gap in between posts - which is all the time "lately" (the last few+ years?) I feel like I should address it somehow when I unexpectedly post here again.  But also... "Ain't nobody got time for that"? 

I'm simultaneously somehow okay... better than ever, really - no.. really - while also struggling with a darkness I can't articulate.  Many times I've been told, or read or heard, that it takes being "safe" to finally be able to process trauma that you were stuck in survival mode to get through at the time it was happening.  I've realized that most of my life has been spent in that survival state.  I'll spare you the trauma dump(s).  I'm okay.  I really am.  It's just - at times - a daily fight to convince myself that it's true.  I'm trying to find myself again and this is part of that.  Thank you for being here. 

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In the chaotic mess that is my life and my studio, there are some strange constants. 

One is this:

"What is that?", you might ask.  Good question!

I've come to think of him as the "guardian of the cards".  You see, for some reason, he ended up parked on top of the box my business cards are in.  He lives there.  Whenever I need a card, or three, I move him, retrieve the cards, then put him back at his post.  

But..  what is he?

He's a wooden bear, from Japan.  

Here's a better view of him, briefly taken as I rotated him on his perch.  (He looks a bit concerned.)  

Just a few days ago, the box of cards he guards was changed out.  The best way to describe that is probably to share the post I made on my Facebook business page tonight.

That about says it all, or all I need to say right now.  

More about that bear...

Wooden bears were everywhere when I was in Japan.  The one who guards the cards is the smallest in my little collection - and the smallest I'd seen there, which is why I bought him at a random sale somewhere over there.

The biggest one I have is this guy. 

He was a gift from my bonsai instructor, when he accepted a job in Tokyo and moved away from rural northern Japan, where I was.

Here he is with a Stablemate, for scale.

I laughed after I took that picture, realizing how that is a Stablemate (1:32) mold who is also a traditional (1:9) scale - which makes the bear look HUGE.  Ha!  He's not THAT big.

So here's another picture, with Hazard - a classic (1:12) scale mustang stallion.  (He is a son of Reckless, for anyone who's followed me for a while)

I also grabbed another bear to show off here, but the picture ended up blurry.  Ah well.  This bear has a fish on a fishing pole.

At times I had wished I knew the significance (if any) of the wooden bears, often carved with fish, in Japan.  While I was there it felt beyond the language barrier for me to ask.  Someday I might go searching on the internet, but for then and for now it's just a memory of my time there and that's enough.

There are definitely bears there and they are nothing to mess with.  The Asiatic Black Bear, which was found where I was living and exploring, was known to attack people.  Us Americans were warned that they are not the often timid black bears we might be used to.  Up north, on the island of Hokkaido, are big brown bears.  I saw some fairly fresh bear scat on a hiking trail once and I think I saw a bear in a field along the road another time.  That was - thankfully - as close as I ever got to one.  

The tiny carved bear who guards my cards feels like he is well suited to the task.  

Breyer MidWest Haul

Two weeks ago I quietly went to Breyer MidWest, in Salina, Kansas.  I say “quietly”, because I didn’t tell anyone I was going, except for the friend I spent the weekend with.  I’ve been distancing myself from a lot of people and “the hobby” at large for a while now, but that’s another story. 

I didn’t enter the open show or the swap meet.  Instead, I went to hang out with my friend and just “be”.  I did sign up for three workshops.  

When the swap meet came around, I wasn’t sure if I’d buy anything, but, well… 

Those are my acquisitions from the swap meet and the workshops.  

A handful of stablemates:

A handful of small resins:

Then there's this guy, he was laying in a tote with a "Free" sticker on his side.  I offered him a home and joked that I'll give him a peg leg.  They said, "maybe an eye patch?" and then I think his future was decided.

Before the swap meet, I'd mentioned to my friend that I'd like to maybe find a "Thunder" (Denver Broncos mascot Breyer) someday, because I thought a "white" (light grey) Asquar would be nice for tack and costume making.  

Then I saw this guy on a swap meet table:

Not Thunder...

However, he's the same color I was thinking of, and I couldn't say no to the price!

That was it for the swap meet. 

Though I did bring more horses home.

Here are my three horses from the workshops I took:
Introduction to Customizing with Tiffany Purdy,
Painting Flashy Appaloosas with Teddy Bates,
and Pasteling Duns with Stephanie Blaylock.

The drive home was long and I stopped for a while to walk around a couple of stores, just to have a break from the road.  One store was Runnings.  They are similar to a Farm Fleet or Tractor Supply type of place.  I peeked at their large selection of Breyers and Schleichs and immediately spotted this little foal staring boldly at me:

Is that?

Yes, the price tag said "Marwari foal".  How cool!

Next to him, I saw the "Marwari Mare" and was lukewarm about her initially.  I just didn't think she had the pizazz of the foal, haha. 

Then I saw the stallion, on a different shelf.  He was cool!  

I knew I wanted the foal, and the stallion, but I didn't want to break up the family, so you already know where this is going...

(and, by the way, the mare has grown on me)

I had also wandered through the horse tack aisle to see if there was any inspiration there.  There was, and also I made my first real horse tack for model horse reference purchase.  

This set of gaming reins was on clearance for $10: 

Then there was this set, which was only a few dollars more and I liked the colors:

Why gaming reins? 

Well, you see, I have a PILE of braided things here in the studio at the moment, and - aside from lead ropes - future gaming reins are the most numerous thing here.  I've been out of the studio way more than in it over the last few months and braiding is a good portable project, so...

Some of the ropes and reins I've braided over the past few months

Overall the trip to Kansas was a good one, despite my very mixed feelings about a lot of things ahead of time.  I'm glad I went and glad I decided to add a couple handfuls of horses, and reins, to my studio.