This may be my lamest attempt at alliteration yet. (so far?)
Life is really, really, really hard right now.
I've started a few posts recently and then stopped. I just wasn't feeling it. At times, right now, I'm feeling all of the things and then none of the things.
I still have so many big plans for this blog, the studio, everything.
I just need to make it though this latest round of heartbreak.
For those who don't know, my husband and I have gone our separate ways. It's a long story, of course, but that's what's going on. He was my everything for 13 years. It was a rough time, but there were a lot of good times, too. I'm trying to figure out how to navigate again without him. I think this was the best decision, though often it doesn't feel like it.
About all of those plans... Right now, I just keep saying that I am "riding the waves" and "letting things happen". I'm learning that I am far more patient with myself, and with life, when I am by myself. I'm feeling all of the feelings, letting them come and go, rise and fall, happy and sad, laughing and crying. I'm hopeful that after the seas settle, I'll be back at it, working on the things I love again, freely and without fear.
I guess that's all I have to say right now. Mostly I just wanted to "make" myself make a post. It's the last day of the month, I'd like tomorrow to be a new start of sorts.
Here's Loki again, doing what cats do best - sleeping.
Tuesday, November 30, 2021
This may be my lamest attempt at alliteration yet. (so far?)
Monday, November 15, 2021
I suppose I'll just keep making up Monday themes
A certain little pupper arrived today.
Two of them, actually. They may not be painted anytime soon, but I'm thinking brindle for one and... I'm not sure for the other.
My original plan was to keep one for myself and sell the other one. Not sure on that, either. No decisions have to be made now, which is good. I'm way past capacity on decision making lately.
Monday, November 8, 2021
(Is Medallion Monday a thing? I guess if not, I'm about to make it a thing here, haha)
Today the latest box from the Khrysalis Studios Medallion club arrived. I've been in the club, off and on, for a long time and the boxes are always full of fun stuff. This time was certainly no exception! I thought I'd share some unboxing pictures:
Lifting the lid, oh, what's this?
Box is open!
Ooo, lots of stuff
This sticker is SO pretty!
Thursday, November 4, 2021
Today was hard.
Really, really hard.
A lot of days lately (really, the last two-three years maybe) have been hard. Tonight I was trying to "do stuff", be productive - etching a custom horse - and the tears just started to flow. I stopped etching, laid down on my studio bed, and picked up my phone. I ended up going to look at The Latest Kate, on Facebook.
If you haven't seen her work, I highly recommend it. Within a few minutes, I had looked at several of her pictures and was feeling better.
Here are a few of the ones I had looked at (all from her Facebook page):
I love her use of color, the cute animals and scenery, all combined with words that are comforting. So far, I've only looked at her work online, but she does have a few books available and also a desk calendar for next year. You can see them here on her website.
Friday, October 29, 2021
I'm working on this tonight: my first Stablemate Arabian set. I can't tell you when I started this one, but I can say that it's been years. I was a bit stuck on how I wanted to do a few things with it. Tonight I'm just getting it done and making decisions on the fly: snip here, glue there. It feels good to be making progress on an old project.
I'm still not sure how to some of the upcoming steps, but I'll figure it out as I go. This one may be my first finished costume/regalia/set. Though it might be a close race between this and the pink traditional scale one. I'd really like to be done with that one too.
I have MANY more of these in the pipeline, in all sizes, but this and the pink set are closest to being done.
They with both be for sale - whenever that is!
Tuesday, October 26, 2021
Yesterday, I received a small padded envelope in the mail from my Aunt. She told me she had sent me some pictures she'd found while going through Granny's things.
(Remember to give Thangs)
Two stacks of pictures:
Wearing Granny's coat again, riding a stick horse? I think - and wielding a stick as a sword. Granddad actually made me a proper wooden sword at one point and I would gallop around in battle, whacking sagebrush with it.
My mom bred and showed dogs, American Staffordshire Terriers at first and later, Maltese. I was a Junior Handler and went to a few shows with a young Maltese named Sugar. Here I am at one:
Posing with Granny:
Clowning with Granny:
I went camping and fishing quite a bit with Granny and Granddad and a few times with just Granddad. Here I was displaying our catch of fish:
And clowning around with the fish.
I noticed something in looking through all of these pictures. I'm not sure I've ever liked having my picture taken. Even as a kid, I seemed to have a few default looks: "oh no, a camera", maybe with a forced smile - completely goofing off for the camera - or somewhere in the middle, maybe when I didn't know the camera was there (or was really excited by something like a turtle).
Exploring a lakeshore - "Oh no, a camera"
Fishing - "Oh no, a camera"
Dressed up for Halloween - "Oh no, a camera"
And so on, haha.
The same Halloween with Granny. I can't remember what I was supposed to be, I think I went as some sort of 80's rock/pop star a few times.
Skipping ahead some years, a 4 generations picture. From the left: Me, my Aunt Annie, Granny, and Granny Margaret (Granny's mom).
And back to kid me. I found this turtle while walking with Granddad. I picked him up, turned him around to look inside, and almost dropped him when he snapped at me. I carried him back to the house to show Granny (then let him go).
The back of that picture:
A picture of Granddad and I on a camping/fishing trip:
Wait, what's that??
I had taken two Breyer horses with me! After studying the picture in bright light (they are TINY in the photo), I recognize them and still have them both. The light dapple grey PAS and grey appaloosa FAS. This was a super fun discovery to make while looking at the pictures.
Last one, Granddad and I having breakfast out of the back of his truck at a campsite:
We often took his cab over camper, but at least once or twice we just set up camp in the bed of the truck with a camper shell over it, for shorter, local campouts.
I miss those trips, Granddad, and Granny, more than I can say. I'm so glad my Aunt Annie sent me these pictures.
Monday, October 25, 2021
I have, historically, had no luck in any game of chance, raffle, drawing, lottery, whatever. There have been a couple of exceptions and they have been Epic. Winning a Live Show Benefit model in 2014 and winning a Braymere saddle and bridle (!) at The Jennifer Show in 2019.
I've entered about every single lottery that Breyer has held for several years now and I don't get picked. No biggie (except, I do still really want a Crane and Baruti) but I still always enter. Well, I did get picked for the All Access ticket holder's second chance BF SR sale. I decided that, of the few molds left, I wanted to go for another surprise and see what color I might get. Due to the store page not actually reloading when I got there early, I missed the first 5 minutes or so of the sale and the surprise models were sold out. My second choice, in this second chance sale, was Gran Cavallo. I was a bit crabby about the technical difficulties and there was even some stress that I might not get my second choice (the cart didn't clear and things hung a bit), but I did manage to buy one! Along with Dahlia, a pin, and a sheet of stickers. Everything came a few days ago...
Everything but Gran Cavallo.
I feel like a broken record in saying that things have been rough lately, but it's true. Without going into details, today things went off the rails before I even had my first sip of coffee and they didn't get much better.
By mid-afternoon, I had thought I might take a nap and "escape" things for a couple of hours. Instead, I made the decision to rally and try to salvage at least some of the day. I would try and do at least a bit of work toward my goals.
Right then, a package arrived.
It was from Breyer, but I wasn't sure what it was, it was a big box and felt heavy.
Inside, I found Gran Cavallo.
The regular version is black and white. The variation is a dark purple/blue and white. I couldn't tell from this view which one I had. I chuckled to myself, thinking this was Schrodinger's Special Run: both the variation and not, until I unwrapped it.
More layers in and I still couldn't tell!
Thinking at this point: maybe it could be purple... Could it really be?
.... I think it is...!
It would seem that, once again, my random Epic luck has kicked in.
My immediate feelings were conflicted. I immediately felt like I really "should" sell him. All along, I've said if I had gotten any of the BF SR variations, I would sell them. I keep saying that I don't collect OFs and that I really only want newer molds for tack making. Also, I may need the money, sooner or later, with big changes coming. All of those feelings swirled around and I sat on the bed in the middle of my studio just holding this model and feeling all of the feels for several minutes.
At both of the live shows where I've won something BIG, I had started the day feeling outclassed and out of place. I took those random, Big, wins as some sort of sign that I did belong there and that I should keep going. I'm feeling this "win" has a similar connection. Today, I wanted to give up, at least for a couple of hours, and take a nap. I decided not to, I was going to fight for what I want. Then he arrived. This kicked me into overdrive. I posted a few more sales ads, took more pictures, organized more things.
Then I sold one of my SM Club gambler horses. Another sign.
I've decided that he will stay, for now anyway.
Right now he represents hope and I can't put a price on that.